um dia eu largo tudo e viro vigia noturno do bem querer.

Ainda meio bobo e ofegante, entrou no primeiro taxi da fila, fitou um ponto qualquer da cidade,demorou de dar as coordenadas para o motorista e pra perceber a presença de um boneco do Elvis pendurado em sua frente. Depois se deu conta que precisava estar na rodoviária e em poucos segundos começaria a fisicamente se distanciar da garota recém beijada. As luzes daquela Salvador confusa começaram a andar e ele a olhar repetidamente o retrovisor, ainda sabendo que não conseguiria vê-la, só queria guardar aquele ar cosmopolita, mesmo que não combinasse muito com o perfil dos dois. Não demorou muito praquela cena se resumir a uma lembrança e pra que o desejo de uma continuação fosse lentamente transformando-se em utopia. Mas acredita que toda boa mudança começou de algum utópico maluco e insiste em pensar nela, insiste em ter saudade e insiste em acreditar que algo concreto e constante aconteça entre eles mais tarde. Mesmo sabendo que esse mais tarde pode demorar demais. ( e se não acontecer ele procura lugar mundo dos sem paixão, já fez isso antes)

o que não tem sentido

A luz mal passava pelas frestas de seus olhos entreabertos, quando decidiu tentar levantar da cama. Não reconhecia aquele cômodo, nem mesmo o rosto mal barbeado que era refletido no copo de alumínio em cima do criado-mudo. Checou o copo, cheirava a uísque. Quem diabos bebe uísque em copo de alumínio?

happiness is a warm gun...

Eu tenho medo dessa minha felicidade, talvez por não conhecê-la direito ou por carregar a inoportuna certeza de que ela finda ( apesar de me parecer inesgostável). São raros os momentos de minha vida que estive bem resolvido com todos os aspectos sociais que me rodeiam, e este é um deles. Eu sabia que meu tempo de respirar chegaria, estava pronto pra ele, mas ao chegar desperta essa sensação de que a qualquer momento posso ter asfixia novamente. Também não sei lidar com o novo, principalmente esses sentimentos e sensações que as pessoas tem me provocado ultimamente. Então sigo agindo com minha maestrosa falta de coordenação emocional e tendo medo dos meus medos.

Darkness at the break of noon
Shadows even the silver spoon
The handmade blade, the child’s balloon
Eclipses both the sun and moon
To understand you know too soon
There is no sense in trying.

Pointed threats, they bluff with scorn
Suicide remarks are torn
From the fool’s gold mouthpiece the hollow horn
Plays wasted words, proves to warn
That he not busy being born is busy dying.

Temptation’s page flies out the door
You follow, find yourself at war
Watch waterfalls of pity roar
You feel to moan but unlike before
You discover that you’d just be one more
Person crying.

So don’t fear if you hear
A foreign sound to your ear
It’s alright, Ma, I’m only sighing.

As some warn victory, some downfall
Private reasons great or small
Can be seen in the eyes of those that call
To make all that should be killed to crawl
While others say don’t hate nothing at all
Except hatred.

Disillusioned words like bullets bark
As human gods aim for their mark
Make everything from toy guns that spark
To flesh-colored Christs that glow in the dark
It’s easy to see without looking too far
That not much is really sacred.

While preachers preach of evil fates
Teachers teach that knowledge waits
Can lead to hundred-dollar plates
Goodness hides behind its gates
But even the president of the United States
Sometimes must have to stand naked.

An’ though the rules of the road have been lodged
It’s only people’s games that you got to dodge
And it’s alright, Ma, I can make it.

Advertising signs they con
You into thinking you’re the one
That can do what’s never been done
That can win what’s never been won
Meantime life outside goes on
All around you.

You lose yourself, you reappear
You suddenly find you got nothing to fear
Alone you stand with nobody near
When a trembling distant voice, unclear
Startles your sleeping ears to hear
That somebody thinks they really found you.

A question in your nerves is lit
Yet you know there is no answer fit
To satisfy, insure you not to quit
To keep it in your mind and not forget
That it is not he or she or them or it
That you belong to.

Although the masters make the rules
For the wise men and the fools
I got nothing, Ma, to live up to.

For them that must obey authority
That they do not respect in any degree
Who despise their jobs, their destinies
Speak jealously of them that are free
Cultivate their flowers to be
Nothing more than something they invest in.

While some on principles baptized
To strict party platform ties
Social clubs in drag disguise
Outsiders they can freely criticize
Tell nothing except who to idolize
And then say God bless him.

While one who sings with his tongue on fire
Gargles in the rat race choir
Bent out of shape from society’s pliers
Cares not to come up any higher
But rather get you down in the hole
That he’s in.

But I mean no harm nor put fault
On anyone that lives in a vault
But it’s alright, Ma, if I can’t please him.

Old lady judges watch people in pairs
Limited in sex, they dare
To push fake morals, insult and stare
While money doesn’t talk, it swears
Obscenity, who really cares
Propaganda, all is phony.

While them that defend what they cannot see
With a killer’s pride, security
It blows the minds most bitterly
For them that think death’s honesty
Won’t fall upon them naturally
Life sometimes must get lonely.

My eyes collide head-on with stuffed
Graveyards, false gods, I scuff
At pettiness which plays so rough
Walk upside-down inside handcuffs
Kick my legs to crash it off
Say okay, I have had enough
What else can you show me?

And if my thought-dreams could be seen
They’d probably put my head in a guillotine
But it’s alright, Ma, it’s life, and life only.

Entrei na raspa da segunda lista de Comunicação Social na UESB, não é bem a universidade dos sonhos, mas estou satisfeito, esperava menos do curso e dos colegas. Continuo querendo sair da cidade, talvez pela ascenção profissional mais fácil ou por coisas internas estarem magneticamente me puxando para Salvador. Já me matriculei no curso de fotografia e agora preciso escrever coisas úteis e divulgáveis para o novo blog que tenho em mente!